New Orleans

I haven't been posting much because I've been glued to the television, mostly CNN. My heart goes out to everyone who was affected by this hurricane, whether they found themselves in Katrina's path, or were worried about a loved one, or who, like me, have no direct connection but cannot shake this profound feeling of sadness and powerlessness. But what is taking over, more and more, is a feeling of disgust.

The situation in New Orleans blows my mind. As a species, we pride ourselves on being more evolved, more civilized. Want to see how close we still are to animals? Just add water.

Please understand that I am not talking about the people who were told to leave but couldn't, either because they had no means to do so, or because they were too sick. I am not talking about those who broke into grocery stores to get food and water, and milk for their children. I am not talking about those who were simply left to fend for themselves for days, and those who died trying. I am talking about the small, lawless faction grabbing all the big headlines.

I am talking about the people shooting each other in the Superdome. I am talking about those who looted gun shops and electronics stores and anything else they could get their hands on but not what they really needed. There may not be electricity in New Orleans for months! How exactly is a big-screen TV going to help you survive this ordeal? And to the madmen (or women) who are shooting at the helicopters trying to evacuate hospital patients, and deliberately setting fires, and shooting at the police? Unless you truly are mad (and heaven knows this week would be enough to do that to anyone), you have my contempt by the bucketful.

Does this whole situation remind anyone else of the Titanic? "Iceberg (or hurricane) right ahead!" And the mayor orders people to evacuate, but there are only lifeboats for those who have the means to have made their own. The rest, trusting the guys in charge until it's too late, are left to try to survive on their own. In some ways, the third class on board Titanic might have had an easier time of it. At least they didn't suffer days and days and days, only to be shoved off to the side with a blanket over them if they didn't make it. A few people have wondered what would have happened if it had been a rich white city instead of a poor black one, and I'm with them on that. We'll never know, of course, but five days for aid to arrive is beyond "inadequate" -- it's nauseating.

There were points this week when I was almost wistful, that I should have seen New Orleans before this happened, because I am quite certain it will never be the same again. But in some ways I'm glad. An Olympic figureskater (Katarina Witt, maybe?) once talked about how sad she was to see Sarajevo ravaged by war, when it had been such a shining, beautiful place when she had been there. I think it would be horrible to think back on some place and know exactly what had been destroyed. The people who lived there must be absolutely sick with sadness. I am trying to imagine how I would feel to find my hometown, attacked first by nature, and then by anarchy and chaos. It shakes me to the core.

This week we saw human beings at their absolute worst. I can only hope that we learn something from this. But I'm afraid we won't.