Farewell to a Friend.

Can you grieve the loss of a truly loved one you have never met?

Since 1995, I have been part of an extremely close-knit online group of dogowners. Besides talking about our dogs, we share each others ups and downs, successes and challenges, joys and heartbreak. It is difficult to put into words just how much we share each other's lives, and how close we really are.

Shan has been one of the liveliest, funniest parts of our little community for as long as I can remember. A long-time breeder of award-winning standard poodles, Shan kept us all entertained with the antics and wit of her beautiful white poodle, Velvet (known to us "dogmoms" as Velvie). Queen Velvie's regal appearance can only be matched by Her Majesty's attitude and charm, and I'm still laughing over the fact that, for days, she refused to relieve herself in a foreign country.

Blessed with an irrepressible and unique sense of humour, Shan will forever be known in our community for a particular sculpture she created for a family gathering. I'm sure I will never look at liverwurst in quite the same way again!

My personal connection to Shan, besides our dogs, came from our mutual Danish heritage. Shan was always willing to share about traditions and recipes, and when I was given my late grandmother's aebleskiver pan, Shan quickly provided her recipe so I could try it out right away, and lavished me with praise when I showed her the pictures of my efforts.

In recent years, however, Shan would "disappear" from our online group from time to time. Rarely mentioned except in updates or as references for stories she shared (like "the mean man at dialysis"), Shan had a number of ongoing health issues that caused her a great deal of pain, discomfort and stress, and her disappearances usually meant she was in hospital. Each time, she would rally and return home, and we would all cheer for her. Her spirit had won out again.

But this last time was different. Having been told that she could probably not return home, but would likely need to go to a care facility, Shan's legendary spark finally dimmed. She decided she'd had enough. It was time.

Shan passed away last night shortly before midnight. She is finally at peace, and we will be watching for her star tonight. I send my love to her "real-life" family, husband Andy and daughter Kira, as well as the "poodelles", and as much as my heart is breaking, I am relieved for Shan. Her struggle is finally over.

Can you grieve the loss of a truly loved one you have never met?

More than you know.

Godspeed, Shan. Hug your Legends. Stå i fred.

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Share your memories of Shan here.
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(Image of Velvie as Queen by artist Bev Hanna.)