You gotta believe me!

Well, here it is, folks. I've arrived at that ripe old age that no one believes you actually are when you're honest with them. I'm 39 years old. Not "39 and holding." Not "39 for the fifteenth time." Just plain old 39.

I shouldn't say "old", exactly. I don't feel "old" per se. I just kind of feel like I've grown into myself. I remember when I turned thirty, and my mother-in-law told me that she absolutely loved her thirties because she got a real sense of who she really was then. I wish I could tell her that I now know exactly what she meant.

Maybe next year, when I turn 40, I'll hold a "Hell, no! I won't go!" party, and protest passing that milestone. But for now, I'm 39 (really), and that's just fine with me.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Taking a break from hooking to pop in and say hello. Hope your Valentine's Day was a good one! Hubby and I went out to lunch at Mexicali Rosa's. The plan after that was to come home for a bit, and then go to a movie, but this low-lying headache I've had for days on end now wanted a nap.

The rug is coming along nicely. I'm really pleased. It's exciting to see something in your head and then be able to "make it real". Since I can't really draw (these flowers are about all I can do!), it's not an experience I've had before, and I'm enjoying every minute of it. There's a rug show on March 18, and the hookers are encouraging me to have this finished in time to enter. We shall see. I'll show you a progress picture tomorrow.

Getting a little sleepy, so I think I'll toddle off now. Piper is giving me the "it's time to go to bed" look, so it looks like I have her approval.

The Blanket With Sleeves!

My hubby loves me. He really is thoughtful in so many ways. For example, because he knows I get so cold, particularly sitting at the computer, when he saw the ad for Snuggie ("The Blanket With Sleeves!"), he picked up the phone and ordered one.
Well, he'd hoped for me to open it on Christmas morning, but they were backordered, and the package finally arrived today. It contained not one, but TWO Snuggies, and TWO "super-slim, totally portable" booklights!

So I'm wearing my "Office Snuggie" now. Later, I will go wear my "Bedroom Snuggie" while watching TV. And if I'm feeling really adventurous, I just might use both booklights at once!

In all seriousness, though -- it's a great idea, and I am much warmer sitting here beside my draughty window. It was a very thoughtful gift and it's doing just what Hubby was hoping it would.

(And he even ordered it in my favourite colour -- green. Whatta guy. *grin*)

And (drum roll) it's Friday!

Haven't got quite enough Diet Pepsi into the bloodstream yet this morning, but I've gotten my 2317 pieces of paper under control, so the day is off to a great start!

I came in early today, partly because my car is in the shop (power steering decided to be optional, rather than optimal), but mostly because I was starting to feel like the paper was starting to get a little out of control. I have enough stuff in the classroom to make me nutty (like having to confiscate cell phones, for example, because the kids just don't seem to get the fact that they aren't allowed to have them out in class). So I figured getting the paper straightened out (something I could control) would help me deal with the things I can't control.

Speaking of things I can't control -- besides the aforementioned car -- I've also now got a throbbing toothache. I took some Advil last night and that toned it down, and I took some more Advil this morning. Hopefully it's just a temporary thing, as I just don't have the money to have it fixed right now. Being off work for about six weeks isn't conducive to being rich.

But I have more Advil, and today is Friday, and my car is getting fixed, and there's a hockey game tonight. So all in all, life is pretty darn good.

Enjoy your day.

Hazy shade of winter.

You know how sometimes you have something on your to-do list and you just have a hard time making yourself do it? Something that normally you'd enjoy doing, but, for some reason, this time around it just doesn't want to get done?

I'm so there right now.

Part of it is just the time of year. I know that, and knowing, as they say, is half the battle. I also know that the longer this task hangs over my head, the heavier it'll get. But I'm sitting here trying to pull together this newsletter and a significant part of me just doesn't want to play. "Oh, take a nap," the SAD voice says. "You're so tired. And it's not like they pay you."

"But I don't do it for pay -- I do it because I want to contribute -- and I need to get this done," the part of me that's still rational replies. "It has to be to the printer this afternoon."

That's the weird thing about SAD. More and more, it seems to me to be like a bizarre multiple personality thing. The medication gives the rational side an edge -- it's bolstered enough to speak up. Without the meds I take from fall to spring, the SAD side has full reign -- the rational side is simply overpowered. "You're right -- I probably would miss that bus. Let's just sleep some more." Thinking doesn't really happen. It's more like I just drift in and out of consciousness. And even now, with the meds, it's a struggle sometimes.

I'm entering the hardest part of my year right now. Even though the days are getting longer, there still isn't enough light for me to function normally. I haven't done the research, but my experience tells me that the sunlight deprivation accumulates, and that's why the longer days don't really affect me until about March 17 or so. It's like it takes that long to balance out how much sunlight I get on a daily basis against how much I've been missing for so long. Like I said, this is just my experience, and what my gut says is happening.

And I'll let you in on a little secret. That spring countdown over there on the left isn't for you. It's for me, to reassure me that yes, even though I feel like I'm stuck in interminable zombie-land, the fog is getting closer to lifting. Some days I feel like that ticker is the only thing that keeps me going. And besides the darkness, I feel totally trapped by the ice and snow. I get cold and I stay cold for hours. I know I whine a lot about the weather, but it's just so invasive. It gets to me, inside and out.

They're doing a SAD study at the hospital here in the city. I called the line and left my name and number, but they didn't call back.

Okay, time to get back to the task at hand. The fatigue is stealing over me and I want to at least get some more done before I find out which side -- rational or SAD -- wins the battle this morning.

Is it mid-January already?

Wow -- I hope the rest of winter goes this quickly!

You've probably been wondering where I've been (although the Twitter feed at the left would have given you a pretty good idea). It's been a pretty hectic week, but things are coming back to normal now. You should have seen Piper and Zaphod when I walked in the door at lunchtime yesterday. Piper went absolutely bonkers, and Zaph refused to let me out of his sight for three hours. Now, since I know that Hubby kept them both fed, I can only conclude that they actually did miss me. (Although my return meant that they had less room in the bed!)

I logged three more caches while I was away, including a sentimental one: a cache inspired by the grave of the Unknown Child in the Titanic victims' section of Fairview Cemetery in Halifax.

I've been fascinated by the story of the Titanic since I was a little girl, and had visited all three groups of Titanic graves in Halifax, so when I learned there was a cache nearby, it was a must-do.

Not much of a shopper, I did manage to get to the art supply store and pick up some more Inktense pencils. There were so many goodies there -- I could have easily dropped a fortune had I had it! Didn't make it to the ginormous used book store, but there will be other visits. This wasn't a pleasure trip, but a practical one, and I had other priorities.

Although I'm glad to be home, I miss Emily terribly. I can always talk with my sister and her husband on the phone, so that's not so bad, but it's impossible to replicate a spontantaneous hug and cuddle from a four-year-old at this distance.

Work is very quiet this time of year (exams are next week, so the teachers are dragging themselves in to get the coursework and review finished), and I'm glad to have a little downtime.

Well, I'd better go see what the critters are up to. Plotting world domination, no doubt! *grin*

We hardly knew ye ...

There are so many things I love about the holiday season, and towards the top of the list is choosing, smelling, decorating, and sitting in the glow of my Christmas tree.

This year's tree (pictured left) did not get decorated until Christmas Eve, which is pretty late. And now I'm about to go downstairs to take it down. In this house, that's pretty early. You see, I dread taking it down. It makes me very sad to say goodbye to it.

(Last year, the Christmas tree didn't get taken down until Good Friday. No, I'm not kidding. Click the link and see for yourself.)

In fact, just by writing this post, I'm putting off the inevitable.

But it must be done. Yes, it must -- if only so that Hubby doesn't again tell the tree lot owner that we need a fresh cut so it will last until Easter.

Today is Day One.

I'm beginning the journey again. The little voice inside my head said it was ready, so I'm going to believe it. I haven't heard that voice in more than three years.

Since it's part of the life I'm creating for myself, I thought it only right that I keep track of it on My Created Life.

Please feel free to leave comments. I thrive on them.

Hester's Hat: Rughooking Frame Cover

Hi, Gentle Reader!

Just thought I'd say hello and let you know that I'm making some progress on my rughooking frame cover. I've posted some pictures on My Created Life.

It's been a busy weekend. The shopping for all sixteen nieces and nephews is all finished, though, and my cold is on its way out of town. For that, and Simon and Garfunkel, I am thankful! *grin*

Talk soon.

Open Letters

Dear Paul Gross,

Thank you so much for making Passchendaele. By making this movie that finally shows Canadian soldiers in WWI combat, you have single-handedly given Social Studies teachers in this country new material to show how and why Canada became her own nation during that conflict, and now students will finally "get it".

I can't tell you how excited I was when I first saw the trailer and shrieked to my husband, "They're CANADIAN! Do you SEE that? CANADIAN!"

Oh, and now I have a teensy crush on you. Hope you don't mind. (wink)

* * *

Dear Barack Obama,

I am glad you won. Please stay safe.

* * *

Dear Betsy (aka My Car),

Although the driver's side visor falling off and landing in my lap was not without its amusement, I am worried about you. Between the noisy wheel bearing and the mysterious rhythmic squeaking, I'm getting quite concerned. Hold on, old girl.

* * *

To the Moron Who Cut Me Off in Traffic Yesterday and Then Flipped Me the Bird,

Your concept of "cause and effect" seems a little flawed.

* * *

To My Right Ankle,

Keep getting better. You're coming along nicely.

* * *

To My Blog Readers,

I'll try to do better at keeping you entertained.

And I'm getting closer to 100 found geocaches.

Been busy ...

Sorry to have disappeared off Planet Earth. Too many terrestrial concerns at the moment. Nothing bad, just stuff. You know how it goes.

This year's edition of Seasonal Affective Disorder seems a lot more "affective" than usual. I'm wandering around in a zombie state usually reserved for much later in the season, after months of lack of sunlight. You know, like February. In February, my mantra is "only six more weeks to normal again." I'm not sure what to say to keep myself going in mid-November.

More later. I need bed now. Again.

I'll be in touch again soon.

PS -- NaNoWriMo just ain't happening this year. But you knew that already, didn't you? *grin*

Well, then.

Just got home from the hospital. Ankle is sprained. The snap-snap I heard was likely the ligaments across the top of my foot letting go.

So ... Ibuprofen every eight hours, wearing two or three sports socks on that foot, ice four times a day, and, oh yeah, it could take three months for the swelling to go away.

If it were broken, I'd at least have a cast and a nice obvious reason for limping everywhere. Now I just look like a zombie from Scooby Doo.

Oh well. At least now I know. *grin*

Okay, I give up.

I'm taking the ankle to the hospital after school today. Actually, Hubby will be taking it, along with the rest of me.

Standing on it and walking around on it are not two of my favourite things at the moment, and as stubborn as I am, it hurts enough that I'm thinking I probably should get it looked at.

I was also talking with another teacher who has a degree in kinesiology and is very involved in many sports (therefore cognizant of varying types of injuries). After I described to her what happened and how it feels now, she strongly encouraged me to go see someone. (In fact, her tone was along the lines of, "You haven't had that looked at yet, you dummy?!")

Must get better. Must go geocaching!

Yay! It's the Weekend!

I can't tell you how overjoyed I was that I didn't have to go in to the school today. In fact, I was so overjoyed that I went in anyway. I was there almost five hours, but I got a lot of stupid, piddly little stuff that kept getting shoved to the back burner done.

Then I came home and ate ice cream and took a nap.

(Somewhere in there Piper hurt herself, which was pretty upsetting, but it's probably not serious. She'll tell you about it on her blog.)

Gas prices jumped 13 cents a litre overnight. Thanks, Hurricane Ike.

The Sea Dogs won their first regular season hockey game last night in Bathurst. I meant to watch it online, but by the time I got home, I just wanted to sleep.

Actually, come to think of it, I want to sleep now. *grin*

Today was much better.

I'm feeling pretty tired again tonight, but it's an okay kind of tired. It's the "you've been working hard -- you'll sleep well tonight" kind of tired. I feel like I'm getting the hang of this somewhat regular teacher thing, and although today wasn't 100% hunky-dory, 80% of it was close enough. *grin*

(Do people even say "hunky-dory" anymore?)

Piper and I start agility tomorrow night. I'm looking forward to it but am also a little afraid. Let's just say that the little black and white dog is in much better shape than I am.

Well, I have to record some marks and start working on making my to-do list for tomorrow. I am thinking that the single biggest thing I'm learning from this teaching gig is how to break my procrastination habit. There's nothing quite like the fear of having 140 teenagers staring at you, waiting for your next move and hoping it will be interesting, to keep you on your toes.

Hope all is well in your little corner of the world.

Just taking it easy.

I've got a pretty good idea of what I'm teaching tomorrow, my headache is down to a dull thudding, and the dog and the cat are just sitting here quietly with me. In a few minutes, Hubby will come in and we'll all drift off to Dreamland.

The topic in Family Living tomorrow will be "what is a family?"

Well, this is mine. :)

At the End of the Day

- The unsettled weather seems to have settled in my head. It's hurting ... bad. Bad enough that I requested a substitute teacher for the substitute teacher.

- We're having an election. The campaign just started today and we'll still be finished well before the Americans.

- Hanna did a pretty good job of soaking us. The eastern part of the city is probably still underwater and the rain stopped hours ago. In Grand Bay, I had to drive through one heck of a lot of water -- and they closed that road an hour later. There's also a railbed that was completely washed away. They're saying we got about 140 mm of rain (somewhere between five and six inches, I think), and I believe it.

- Piper graduated Novice Obedience today.

And that's the news from here.

'Twas the Night Before High School ...

So, I'm heading back to work tomorrow. Although the students won't be there until next Tuesday, I'll be filling in for someone on Day One. For that reason, I'm going to attend the administration days so I know what's going on. Part of me is in shock that my summer is over, but I'm pretty psyched to be going back.

Went up to River Gallery with Dr. Munchkin today. I love going up to see Sande anyway, but it was great to go with my sister who is starting to hook rugs as well. I'm planning my next project now, but won't start hooking it until the first two projects are completely finished.

Right now I'm curled up in bed, watching Big Brother and blogging away on my Palm. I'm getting sleepy, so I shouldn't have any difficulty dozing off.

In case you're wondering, I'm feeling better. I'm finally able to sleep again, which helps immensely. I'm still coughing but I'm definitely on the mend. I'm pretty sure my voice will be back by the time I need it next week.

Life is good. *grin*

Looking for Land in All the Wrong Places

It was quite the adventure.

Hubby saw online that there was a piece of land for sale in the middle of nowhere. Just for the heck of it, he decided to go check it out, and Piper and I went along for the ride. And when I say "the middle of nowhere", it's pretty accurate. It took three gravel roads to get there!

After navigating with the help of three maps (including the main one which happened to have the wrong name on the very road we were looking for), we finally found the right place (we think -- there was no sign).

So we got out of the car to check it out. As soon as we did, I spotted a little rabbit making a break for the woods. (Piper didn't see it, which is probably a good thing all the way around.)

The plot of land didn't seem anywhere near as deep as it should have been, according to the information we had, and the brook was rather unimpressive, but it was fun looking for it anyway. And, once again, I got to astound Hubby with my knowledge of the back roads of southern New Brunswick. (Even more impressive when you consider that I only got my driver's license a little under three years ago.)

As we began our trek back to civilization, we went over the same brook just a little further downstream. To me, this picture is the epitome of tranquility and worth every speck of dust we kicked up along the way.

The funniest part of the adventure? For a kilometre or so, we had an all-terrain cycle speeding along behind us, popping wheelies every so often. Piper HATED it and went into all-out canine cacophony, her head pressed against the back windshield. Finally he turned onto a side road and disappeared. If dogs can be smug, Piper was the poster dog. She probably thought she'd scared him away!

It was a fun couple of hours, and wonderful to get out of the house for a bit. I definitely needed that!

Beginning of Day 14

I didn't even get to sleep this time before the coughing made me get up.

I'm sore, and exhausted, and I just want to sit down and have a rip-roaring old-fashioned ugly cry.

And then eat pizza.

And Kentucky Fried Chicken.

It's just a cold, for crying out loud! Why is it taking so damn long to go away? I'm doing everything I'm supposed to -- lots of fluids, tonnes of Vitamin C, and all the other usuals. I feel so guilty complaining when I realize that there are so many worse medical conditions out there, and I doubt that this is going to kill me, but frankly at least then I'd get some rest.

I just want the coughing to stop so I can sleep.

That's all.

(Thank you for listening. It was either vent to you or go bawl all over sleeping Hubby who would wake up in a blind panic.)