Dear Santa ...

I want a new laptop -- the key word here being "new". I know that it might be a little early in the year for such things, but I really want you to have time to think about it.

I have two laptops at the current time, both of which were abandoned at my husband's business by people who went on to better-behaving machines. In other words, the price was right, but they have "issues".

Laptop #1 cannot hook up to our wireless network at home, and the N-key sticks, but the kicker is that the screen will only stay on if you clamp a huge, ugly dollar-store red metal vise on a certain spot on the screen frame. Not exactly portable, and, frankly, embarrassing. Especially if one's husband has a computer business.

Laptop #2 has keys that all work fine and will hook up to our home wireless network, and is now my laptop of limited choice. The massive problem with Laptop #2 is that, 94% of the time, the screen only stays on for 2-11 seconds before it goes blank and switches the display to the attached monitor. Problem is, there is no attached monitor. If I wanted to attach a monitor, why the heck would I bother with a laptop?!

You know, this blog would probably be updated more if I didn't have to sit in this particular chair to do it. So, Santa, if you're a fan of my blog, cough up!