Switching gears.

All of my life I wanted to be a teacher. As a child, I spent hours playing with my favourite toy, a Fisher Price schoolhouse, and I loved writing on the board in my father's classroom. No "astronaut" for me. We joke about "the family business", but I knew, on the inside, that teaching was what I wanted to do with my life. I wanted to help people. I wanted to teach them things that they would use for the rest of their lives, and that would make their lives better. In short, I wanted to make a difference.

But things happened, as they usually do. I went off to university, planning to do a BSc in Geology (which was quickly changed to a BA in English), but when I wasn't accepted to a BEd program immediately following it, I decided I would have to take some more courses to bring up my marks. What I didn't know was that I was suffering from undiagnosed Seasonal Affective Disorder, which would leave me with a string on F's on my transcript, simply because I couldn't stay awake long enough to go to class. I was living alone in a basement apartment that year, with snow up past the windows, and I was sleeping 18-20 hours a day. Needless to say, that year did nothing to improve my chances of doing a BEd degree.

I began substitute-teaching in the spring of 2000, and while it certainly has had its moments and characters, I have truly enjoyed almost all of it. But I've been rejected for the BEd program again and again, due to something that was more than ten years ago now, in spite of my experience, glowing recommendations, and a phone call from the university's former president of twenty-five years. And I began to think that a career in teaching was simply not meant to be.

Schools are changing. The kids are changing, the classroom atmosphere is changing, and even the parents are changing. The amount of work required from teachers is staggering, and the system is constantly demanding more. I know in my heart, as I have known for the past few years, that even if I were to get into a BEd program right now, I'd burn out long before I ever earned a decent retirement pension. Simply being the "cell phone police" on top of trying to get them to sit quietly, let alone do any work, is hard on the head day after day.

So the big question I've been wrestling with, with increasing anxiety, for the past five years has been, "What do I want to be when I grow up?" And the answer will likely surprise you as much as it surprised me.

I still want to help people. I still want to teach them things that they will use for the rest of their lives, and that will make their lives better. I still want to make a difference.

I'm going to be a dental hygienist.

Yeah, it surprised me, too. Health care was never a field I had ever considered, because a) my math abilities would never have gotten me through a science degree, let alone get me to med school, and b) I was going to be a teacher. But with my "baby sister" now a dentist, I've realized I'm fascinated by dentistry, and on New Year's Day, it hit me like a bolt of lightning.

The relief I feel at finally knowing what I'm "supposed to do" is beyond words, and I know deep in my bones that this is the right thing. In so many ways, it's a fresh start. The admissions process only looks at the last five courses taken, so that major bruise on my transcript from twelve years ago will not be an issue. I need to take some pre-requisite courses, too, so those will help tidy things up. I will have to go away for two years, but I was going to have to do that with a BEd program anyway, and I'm only going to a city that's four hours away and was my home for about ten years.

I have loved teaching, and I'm relieved that I will be doing it for at least one more year. I'm not ready to say goodbye to "my kids" just yet. But I've known for the past number of years that I couldn't do it for much longer, particularly financially. I'm getting to the point in life where I really need to start planning for my future. A career in dental hygiene will fulfill my needs to make a difference, as well as allow me to look after myself. And I can't tell you how excited I am to get started.