So, from the time I was three years old, playing with my Fisher Price schoolhouse, I've wanted to be a teacher. And I have been, to a point -- I was a substitute teacher for ten years.
But because I didn't have a Bachelor of Education degree, I couldn't be more than an "on-call educational specialist," as I jokingly named myself. No contract, no security, and -- because I was a "local permit" and didn't have my actual teaching degree -- looked down upon in some circles.
But I was there for ten years. Why? Because I loved it. I loved being in the classroom, and I loved being with the kids. I loved sharing knowledge and helping students discover their academic passions, and sometimes being the only voice of encouragement they had heard in months. I taught the strugglers and the high-flyers, and I loved it.
I loved it. Past tense. I don't think I burned-out, per se, but it seemed that problems I'd encountered ten years ago had multiplied ten-fold. Lack of respect. Defiance. Lack of parental support -- either for the kids or the adults who are trying to maintain a productive classroom environment in which to teach them. And then there's the increasing atmosphere of politics, frustration, pretension, insecurity and arrogance in the staff room, as increasing demands and dwindling resources bring out the worst in the teachers. A lot can change in ten years.
In multiple attempts, I was unsuccessful in applying to the highly-competitive Bachelor of Education program because, due to illness fifteen years ago, my transcript marks were in the basement. But last spring I appealed my transcript, and now my average is a better indicator of my abilities (and a much stronger contender for admission). So here I am, with application deadlines looming in January, and I should be excited. But I'm not. In fact, the closest emotion I'm feeling is dread.
I still want to teach, but it's the university level that's calling to me. For that, I don't need a Bachelor of Education, but I do need at least a Masters degree. If I go for the B Ed, I definitely won't be able to swing a Masters. (The Masters I want to do is a Masters of Science in Space Studies -- through distance education from the University of North Dakota -- and the tuition is daunting.) I'm getting too old to laugh in the face of student debt.
Part of me says, "Well, just apply to the B Ed anyway, and then decide," but by the time one figures in transcript and application fees, it adds up to more than a hundred dollars which could definitely be put to other uses.
I honestly don't know what to do. Thoughts?
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
To apply or not to apply -- THAT is the question.
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13 comments:
Well you won't get the education to be a teacher any younger.
You already know my thoughts! You are a wonderful teacher and will be great at any level!! Get your BED and go from there! Luv ya lots! :)
I hear you loud and clear Karen. I've been I'm the classroom (in QC) for about 10 yrs myself and have noticed the changes you also see. But there are still some kids that are real gems, kids who still need that word of encouragement (or 5), some parents who are not self-entitled and truly care. I have frustrating days yes, but also gems that make up for it. It really is a "yo-yo" profession. Go for high school level sciences; the rewards are there -really. :)
Go into your own personal "zero zone".... you know - all by yourself, no noise and stress free.
Picture yourself, 20 years from now. What do you see yourself doing?
Personally, you've "taught" me a lot of stuff and I KNOW, deep down in my heart and gut, that you must be an AWESOME teacher!!!
Everyone can get a B.Ed... not everyone can truly "teach".
I've had crappy teachers when I was a kid and, as an adult, I'd just LOVE to tell them today how they screwed up my career choices because of they were not meant to be teachers, IMHO. I've had 4 INCREDIBLE teachers, throughout my school years, that truly marked my life and well..... 30 or more years later, I still remember them fondly and a lot of times, certain things that they taught me, come back to me.
Soooooo, it's ultimately your choice.... Just keep in mind that a "dream" or "want to" sometimes really isn't meant to be. For example, the Masters in Space Science might just be a un-atainable dream.... whereas, I've been privy to reading some of your writing and I was ASTONISHED!!! Girl, you are an INCREDIBLE writer!!!! *VBG*
Hope this helped.
Rosa
WOMAN... APPLY! Who cares about the fees. If you don't at least apply you will regret it. It's not dread...Your just freaking out a bit and that is ok. Applying is the first step, then make a decision! DO IT!
Apply! Age is but a number, life's too short to be doing something you don't love and apply for every scholarship going!
You know how I feel about this.
My advice as someone who has been to grad school in the field of education. Get your Bed. It opens up doors of possibilities. I don't have a BeD, and even with an MA in education and part of a PhD completed, my options are limited. I have been published in the field more than once, presented at conferences to educational greats, and still only have a local permit, and all the crap you mention that goes with that. And getting an Ma in any field is no guarantee of a job. What all the field want is experienced people. Teaching jobs are competitive and no benefits without tenure and a PhD. You could got to grad school once you have your Bed. I had a friend getting her MA with me who was much older than us, she was in her 60s and following her dream.
I think you should try, too. But, I know the Masters is what you REALLY want and to go into space education. Maybe figure out what it would cost you a month instead of a total picture...that might stop some of the dread?? I will keep you in my thoughts and you can keep bouncing things off of us.... :)
If teaching is what you love, but applying for the BEd produces dread, why don't you look into other ways of teaching that aren't in a traditional classroom environment? Like: teaching adults, leading workshops, teaching seniors how to blog, etc. There are loads of ways to teach without needing university qualifications.
Angela, I've given lots of thought and research along the lines of your suggestions over the years, but the opportunities to make a living here in our area doing those kinds of things aren't great. The city is just too small (about a third the size of Victoria).
Thank you so much, everyone, for your thoughts. It really means a great deal to me. I guess my next step is to narrow down the field of where to apply. I really, really wish that Saint John had a full B Ed program here; it would make life so much easier.
This is a really tough call, and I appreciate that you are sharing it... what really makes me hesitate here is your gut response of "dread". I'm strongly in favour of weighing pros and cons, doing the research etc etc but when it comes down to it, your own gut response is the the most important measure -- it doesn't really matter what you think you want or what you think you should want.
Here is the best advice I have ever received about making decisions: flip a coin. Choose heads = Plan A (eg BED) and tails = Plan B (?). Now, here's the important part: when the coin lands, making the choice for you, what is your reaction -- are you relieved, or agitated? Are you gung-ho to move forward finally, or do you want to drag your heels and hide under the covers?
I know (I know!) there seem to be so few options here. I'm struggling with similar choices myself, so I don't have any answers. I just know that if your body isn't onside with your brain or your ambitions, you are doomed before you start. What Rosa said is a good way to step out of the hamster wheel -- visualize your best happy self in 10-20 years time, and then consider the multiple possible routes toward your goal. Maybe what you are looking for, the path forward, is the road less-travelled.
I've been thinking about the "dread" part a lot in the last 24 hours, and I think I know what it is. It's not dreading the B Ed -- it's remembering the multiple application rejections (when I had the black hole in my transcript) and not wanting to go through that again.
I like your coin idea, Gillian. It's a good one!
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